piggy
12th May 2004, 12:32
a bunch of squadies were kicking a ball about in iraq when a local lad joined in he was brilliant , they were all gobsmacked the skills this boy had were unbelievable, one of the squadies,a lifelong liverpool fan,used to go to school with micheal owen and was still mates with him so he rung him up and told him about this lad anyway to cut a long story short they got the lad flown over for a trial. everyone at liverpool was highly impressed and the lad was offered apprentice terms that wekend due to a terrible injury crises the lad finds himself on the bench. imagine the scene liverpool are 2-0 down to newcastle with 10 mins to go a champions league place on the line so houllier throws the lad on saying "just go out there and show them what you can do" the lad enters onto the anfield pich to a stunned silence even a couple of boo's nobody has even heard of this lad they think houllier's lost his marbles, the ball comes to him on the halfway line he beats one ,two cuts inside a third and hits a unstopable shot into the top left hand corner, the crowd erupts, 3 mins later liverpool get a corner the ball comes across the lad dives headfirst where the boots are flying and scores,the fans go wild, a minute left he gets the ball deep inside his own half and goes on an amazing run leaving a string of newcastle players in his wake he's through one on one with given the lad nutmegs him runs round and taps it in for his hatrick, the stadium explodes a new hero is born, straight after the match houllier offers the lad a 3 year £30,000 per week contract , made up the lad rushes to phone home his mother answers "mum mum" the lad says " ive just come on as a sub scored a hatrick and ive been offered a 3 year contract at £30,000 a week, mum why are you crying" his mum says " i'm sorry son it's just that we have had a terrible day your youngest brother and sister's school has been burnt down, your elder sisters been raped , your other brother has been badly beaten and robbed, your father is in hospital with gunshot wounds and there is a mob in the street rioting, can't we go back to iraq"