piggy
3rd November 2004, 21:28
One day Pete was complaining to his friend, “My Elbow hurts. I’d better see a doctor.” His friend said, “Don’t do that there’s a computer in the chemists that can diagnose anything. It’s quicker and easier than visiting a doctor. Give it a urine and it will diagnose your problem and tell you how to cure it. It only costs £5.”
Seeing as he didn’t want to wait for an appointment Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with his urine sample and went to the chemists. Finding the computer he poured in the sample and paid the £5 fee. The computer started making a weird noise and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper was printed. It said:
You have tennis elbow
Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor; it will be better in two weeks.
Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder whether it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the chemists, poured in his sample and paid his £5. The machine again made the usual noise a and printed out the following analysis:
Your water is hard, get a softener.
Your dog has worms, get him treated.
Your daughter is using cocaine; get her into a rehab clinic.
Your wife is pregnant, it’s not yours, get a lawyer.
And if you don’t stop doing that your tennis elbow will never get better!
Seeing as he didn’t want to wait for an appointment Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with his urine sample and went to the chemists. Finding the computer he poured in the sample and paid the £5 fee. The computer started making a weird noise and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a small slip of paper was printed. It said:
You have tennis elbow
Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor; it will be better in two weeks.
Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Pete began to wonder whether it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the chemists, poured in his sample and paid his £5. The machine again made the usual noise a and printed out the following analysis:
Your water is hard, get a softener.
Your dog has worms, get him treated.
Your daughter is using cocaine; get her into a rehab clinic.
Your wife is pregnant, it’s not yours, get a lawyer.
And if you don’t stop doing that your tennis elbow will never get better!