piggy
5th December 2004, 13:01
found this and had a giggle, feel free to substitute town of your choice :D
Disaster in Barnsley
An Appeal for your Help
A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Tuesday morning, epicentre - Barnsley, England. News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the towns 3500 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering 'fookinell' and 'choofinnorah'.
The earthquake decimated the town causing £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costas were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio Barnsley reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Barnsley. One resident, 15 year old mother of 3 Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said, 'it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning'. Locals were determined not to be bowed as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.
So far whilst the Brithsh Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering ot stricken locals, rescue workers searching through the rubble found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and bone china from Poundstrecher.
Can You Help? Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of this disaster.
Clothing is needed most of all especially
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sports socks
Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark.
Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal. Please do not give anything that requires peeling. Remember 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9 £5 will pay for a packet of B & H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves.
Urgently reguired: Tinned Whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells.
Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding South Yorkshire communities.
Disaster in Barnsley
An Appeal for your Help
A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Tuesday morning, epicentre - Barnsley, England. News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the towns 3500 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering 'fookinell' and 'choofinnorah'.
The earthquake decimated the town causing £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costas were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio Barnsley reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Barnsley. One resident, 15 year old mother of 3 Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said, 'it was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning'. Locals were determined not to be bowed as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal.
So far whilst the Brithsh Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering ot stricken locals, rescue workers searching through the rubble found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and bone china from Poundstrecher.
Can You Help? Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of this disaster.
Clothing is needed most of all especially
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sports socks
Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark.
Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal. Please do not give anything that requires peeling. Remember 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9 £5 will pay for a packet of B & H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves.
Urgently reguired: Tinned Whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells.
Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding South Yorkshire communities.