piggy
27th March 2005, 14:03
i think this might have been posted before but it still makes me chuckle
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Prada suit, Gucci shoes, Dior sunglasses and D+G tie,
leans out the window and asks the shepherd:
"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers:
"Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to
his AT& T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he
calls up a GRPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within
seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex
formulae.
He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after
a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a
full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised HP LaserJet printer,
turns to the shepherd and says:
"You have exactly 1,586 sheep".
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep,"
says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks
on amused as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man:
"Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says:
"Okay, why not?".
"You're a consultant," says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answers the shepherd. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew to a question I never asked, and you know absolutely nothing
about my business.
"Now give me back my dog."
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Prada suit, Gucci shoes, Dior sunglasses and D+G tie,
leans out the window and asks the shepherd:
"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers:
"Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to
his AT& T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he
calls up a GRPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within
seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database
through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex
formulae.
He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after
a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a
full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturised HP LaserJet printer,
turns to the shepherd and says:
"You have exactly 1,586 sheep".
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep,"
says the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks
on amused as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man:
"Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says:
"Okay, why not?".
"You're a consultant," says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answers the shepherd. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew to a question I never asked, and you know absolutely nothing
about my business.
"Now give me back my dog."