Stewards enquiry
13th May 2005, 18:48
1) A sign in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX,
FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
2) Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
4) Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
5) At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE
FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
6) Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
7) Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER
SERVED HERE.
8} Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM
AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
10) On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
11) In a restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
12) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
13) In a maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
14) In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS
FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO
OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
16) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
17) In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
18} In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A
FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
20) Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK
HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX,
FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
2) Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
3) Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
4) Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
5) At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE
FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
6) Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
7) Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER
SERVED HERE.
8} Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM
AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
9) Sign in men's toilet in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK, TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT.
10) On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
11) In a restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
12) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
13) In a maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
14) In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS
FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
15) Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO
OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
16) On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
17) In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
18} In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A
FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
19) Hotel room notice, Chiang Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
20) Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK
HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.