Fadetoblack
30th September 2005, 22:45
A woman brought a very limp duck in to see the vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the birds chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead." he replied.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "You haven't done any tests on him or anything. Maybe he's just in a coma or something, I demand a second opinion!"
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a brown Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the exam table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a tabby cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and sniffed delicately at the bird. Then it sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, a 100% certifiable, dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and out popped the bill.
He handed it to the duck's owner who gasped in shock, "£150 she cried. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan the price went up considerably
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead." he replied.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "You haven't done any tests on him or anything. Maybe he's just in a coma or something, I demand a second opinion!"
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a brown Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the exam table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a tabby cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and sniffed delicately at the bird. Then it sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, a 100% certifiable, dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and out popped the bill.
He handed it to the duck's owner who gasped in shock, "£150 she cried. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan the price went up considerably