piggy
3rd April 2006, 21:32
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and
collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft
background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a
bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the
hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house e began to smell.
They tried verything, cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents
were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off
gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the
end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the
house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer
and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a
new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He
told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that
she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had
no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th
of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers
that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home,................including the curtain rods.
suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and
collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft
background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a
bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the
hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house e began to smell.
They tried verything, cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents
were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off
gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the
end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the
house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer
and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a
new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He
told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that
she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had
no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th
of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers
that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home,................including the curtain rods.