good deed for the day

[silax]

ok i have a mate who for all intence and purpose will remain annoymous.
he needs to find a women and quick. nice lad (too nice in my opinion)at university can't pick up a women for love or money (possiblt not the right expression but you know what i mean).he studies computor programming and really in his position with all the totty surrounding him should never go short.
where is he going wrong.
now i'm not the best looking guy in the world and i'm not the most macho guy in the world but i've never really had a propblem getting women into the sack. he almost tried speed dating once but that got cancelled. now anybody who trys that must be bloody brave and deserves a medal.
now i'd like to start a thread on giving him the best possible help in trying to get him a night of passion. i'm sure once he gets over the first hurdle he'll be ok.
i'll start the ball rolling
i think the first thing you have to do john is change your outlook on women they are not made of sugar and spice these are vicious creatures who can completly shatter your confidence with one word "no". just going up to a women and saying do you fancy going out for a drink 9 times out of 10 will not work unless you are very good looking and have that macho persona about you.
you have to play them like a game ok first thing get a piece of paper and pen and write down all the names of the girls you've talked to in the past (don't write familly members down) forget about wether you fancy them or not that dosen't matter at this stage of the game. what matters is that you have made contact with them. now also cross off all the ones you've tried it on with in the past and failed with. chances are they didn't want to then and they don't want to now.
got any left on your list now cross off the married or taken ones i have a simple rule of thumb here don't mess around with taken women (more aggravation then what its worth).
ok now you've got your targets hopefully a few left on the list. you have to work out a plan of action. now work your way down your list (and for fooks sake don't lose this list if it falls into the wrong hands you will be celerbate for many more years to come)
where to start take last women on the list not the first(i would imagine you wrote the girl you'd most want to be with first you need practice before you get to her) and write down as many things as you can about her social habits what she like doing where she goes etc. you have to bump into her and you have to know a little bit about her (remember the gardening programmes).
ok we've progressed you meet her and say hi this is a surprise seeing you here. now by this time you should have enough info on her to be able to hold a few conversations try not to get tounge tied and if the conversation starts to die down a bit retreat to the toilet and have a rethink on what to say next. keep the chat about her women love to talk about themselves.
if you reckon you can go back and keep the talk going for another 5-10 mins
do it if not go back make up an excuse and **** off with your confidence intact.
you should have managed to sew a seed in this womens brain that you are an ok guy and possible love machine.
getting these women into bed is not easy but if you can sew enough seeds you will reap the rewards of all your hard work.
i would say 50% of women want sex as much as you they just need more of an excuse to jump into bed.
once you've done a few of these onesided dates you will start getting it down to a fine art and your confidence should grow the main rule is at all times hold onto your confidence its what gets you laid. if you start to feel its about to get shattered get out before it does.
if a girl is interested in you she will get in touch with you but sometimes they need pointing in the right direction and a few clues (they may be vicious but not very bright)
now thats my plan for my annoy mate anybody got any other ideas on how he can get a bed partner.

[MarcusMel]

Read double your dating power by David Deangelo- what the guy says works!

One simple way of learning to get confidence with women is to flirt by critising them in a confident cocky way. They know that men want them so this approach comes as a bit of a surprise. The clothes attack. How can you wear that top with those shoes, it make your hair look all funny! (stupid remark showing you have noticed them but you don't care what they think and if done right can be funny) Note that an annoyed person out for revenge is thinking more about you than someone who you have done a good deed for. So if you can be mysterious by not answering questions truthfully but in a way that is obviously a BIG lie(hopfully funny) that also gets a similar result. Be a good listener, get them to talk about themselves.

That is a sample of what this guy says. I tried it out at the work place for fun. It turned out to be a lot of fun!

[presto]

just going up to a women and saying do you fancy going out for a drink 9 times out of 10 will not work
- but 1 time out of 10 it will :wink , even ugly blokes 'like me' get the better of the odd's now and again.
however the adverage length of my relationships are usually only around 7 hous :ermmm
so perhaps i should be taking in the advice rather than giving it.

as for old friends - some people may loath 'myspace' but it's a way of getting in contact with them.

[bigcumba]

ok i have a mate who for all intence and purpose will remain annoymous.

i think the first thing you have to do john ..

:laugh nice one Silax

[mathare]

One of the first things you have to do with women you don't know is lie about your line of work/study. Computer programming or anything like that is not a big hit with the ladies. OK, you don't have to lie as such but be elusive about it.

When I was working for BAe and Logica I would tell people I worked in the defence industry. They then ask exactly what I did and I told them I could tell them more but I would then have to kill them. Now that's crap, of course, and they knew it was. But it saved me having to admit I was a software engineer.

And I've had plenty of nights out as a dolphin trainer too :laugh

[Jonny2621]

And I've had plenty of nights out as a dolphin trainer too :laugh

You too ?? :yikes:

[TheOldhamWhisper]

What your friend needs to be wary of is that occasionally women use trick questions to try to confuse men. You can usually avoid them if you spot them early enough. The first sign of the trick question - you will notice the woman's lips move and sound will emanate from their mouth.

Here's a couple of the more obvious ones to start you off but I hope a few others can be added to help you over the worst of them.

"Does my bum look big in this..." - This is not actually a question, it is an open invitation for a row. You can actually remain silent and the woman will continue the conversation on her own (until she realises you haven't replied). It goes something like, "...you're just saying that", "...I bet you used to say that to [insert girl's name]", "...well, that's it - we can't go..."

Another one that catches men off-guard is:

"What do you think?" - If you wait patiently for a few seconds, the woman will tell you exactly what you think, so again the best answer is to not speak at all.

If you manage to survive the opening salvoes and progress to the stage where she cooks for you for the first time, you need to be at the top of your game to get through the evening:

"Well, is it OK....not too much salt/pepper/monosodium glutamate...?" - DO NOT fall for the 'Just like mother used to make comment...' - she's expecting that one and within minutes she'll start with the "...always comparing me with your mother, why don't you go back to her then...".

No, the answer to that one is to take a HUGE mouthful of food (at least enough that requires 12 minutes to chew and swallow) and while smiling and pointing to bulging cheeks, nod your head vigorously. After 12 minutes without getting a cogent answer, the woman will think of something else to ask.

So, to sum things up - when a woman talks, shut up and listen. Whatever happens, under no circumstances get lured into a conversation of her choosing. Eventually she will get really frustrated and ask about the offside rule just to get you talking... :wink

[mathare]

You too ?? :yikes:Yep, 'fraid so.

I was out with a mate of mine once when he was using that line and unfortunately for him his target turned out to be a marine biologist :splapme

[mathare]

Genuine advice time

Be natural. Be yourself. Take things slowly. You'll pick up on the signs for when she is ready to take things to the next level. Be nice. Try to get along with her friends. Phone her when you say you will. Ask about her day and find out what she likes to do.

And if after all that she still won't put out, try her sister

[Merlin]

Women like attention - dont give her too much of it, just enough to keep her interested in you....

Women like to laugh.....find her humour button, and u cracked it...:yikes:

[presto]

And I've had plenty of nights out as a dolphin trainer too :laugh

what are the odd's of 2 people on the forum using that line :laugh :laugh :laugh

at my old work me and a mate used to make up past jobs to see how interesting we could make ourselves sound, well mainly to see out of the 2 of us could be more convinging and take it the furthest.

spy, circus act, pop singer, mob boss, lion tamer, bank robber, 'dolphine trainer' :laugh

[silax]

Genuine advice time

Be natural. Be yourself. Take things slowly. You'll pick up on the signs for when she is ready to take things to the next level. Be nice. Try to get along with her friends. Phone her when you say you will. Ask about her day and find out what she likes to do.

And if after all that she still won't put out, try her sister

hmmm we're not trying to get him married he'll never forgive us for that one
this is not the best advise this is the advise your mother would give you :splapme

[silax]

Women like attention - dont give her too much of it, just enough to keep her interested in you....

Women like to laugh.....find her humour button, and u cracked it...:yikes:

this is more like it humour and sharp put downs get women going well some of them anyway the ones that don't like it you'll find aren't worth bothering with.
don't start the put downs on your first meeting she has to know your sence of humour before it comes into its own

[mathare]

hmmm we're not trying to get him married he'll never forgive us for that one
this is not the best advise this is the advise your mother would give you :splapmeMy mother never advised me to try it on with my girlfriend's sister. You obviously had a very different upbringing to me Silax.

[bigcumba]

That's what happens when you mix nookie with Newkie (Broon)

[silax]

that sister bit was good matt

[presto]

charm, witt, humour and BEER. - i find the best combination, in my miserable sex life.

also if you are in a situation with 2 girls - go for the less attractive one, she gets flattered that you chose her over her better looking friend, and the better looking one gets jellous that you didn't chose her, and if your lucky the better looking one may try and out do her friend :)

[youngtag]

One word, Thailand. Pack him off there and he'll come back thinking he's Ron Geremy

[wb]

also if you are in a situation with 2 girls - go for the less attractive one, she gets flattered that you chose her over her better looking friend, and the better looking one gets jellous that you didn't chose her, and if your lucky the better looking one may try and out do her friend

Top advice presto!

[GlosRFC]

All this hassle to get someone laid...write down lists, read books, become a stand-up comedian, swim with whales, etc...when £20 in his pocket and a trip to Neepsend Lane or Mappin Street should see him sorted in a jiffy :thumbs

[Win2Win]

One word, Thailand. Pack him off there and he'll come back thinking he's Ron Geremy

More like Gary Glitter :rolleyes:

[John]

Forget about me deserving a medal for almost going speed dating, you deserve a medal for starting this thread Silax!

Thanks very much, both funny and informative and thanks to everyone who's given me advice.

I'm usually too honest when I talk to women... I think that's my problem and I usually fall into the "friend" trap all too quickly. I have lots of female friends! :yikes:

[Win2Win]

I can get you a nice tight virgin.........:thumbs

[John]

:laugh

As if I wasn't unlucky enough already... me and my housemate just walked to the takeaway pizza place, on my way I spotted this hot girl dressed up walking towards us, late twenties I'd say. She must have caught me checking her out because she said "Little (s word)" as I walked past. :( :laugh

[MarcusMel]

You should have said loudly "I heard that miss rabbit ears, If you don't want me to notice you wear a suit of amour"

Start thinking up funny insults, they really work a lot better than compliments. Why do think the 'bad' boy reputation came about!

[bigcumba]

:laugh

"Little (s word)"

you mean she could see your little pork s word?:yikes:

[silax]

cross her off the list john

[John]

You should have said loudly "I heard that miss rabbit ears, If you don't want me to notice you wear a suit of amour"

I would have if her boyfriend/husband hadn't been walking alongside her! :thumbs

[MarcusMel]

In that case you tell him to say it :)

"Hey mate do me a favour and tell your arm candy...."

[MarcusMel]

Just thought of another. Didn't I see you at the local massage parlour when I was fixing the drier! (to him!)

[John]

Lesson 18 of 187: Learn to think on the spot. :yikes:

[MarcusMel]

Can't be done think up situations and get them pre-planed. The more you practise the quicker you will get for on the spot thinking.

[John]

"You should learn to smile more else your mouth will sag like your neck has"

She smiles/laughs.....

You're in.....

[MarcusMel]

Actually not a smile - more of a smirk. You can actually get women talking to you with humour in the eyes, saying nothing and wearing a smirk and being not interested in them. You then become the chalange and they start wondering 'what is wrong with me'.

[John]

Nearly bought this a while back and thinking of actually buying it when I have time to read it:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/1841957739/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/203-9847030-2509554?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176679429&sr=8-1

What d'you rex?

[tophatter]

I dont know all about this insult business lads, dont think it would work with the girls round here, I would be scared of getting a knuckle sandwich! :)

[silax]

if you don't want a fight best to walk away say nothing confidence stays intact. just imagine she's got 3 kids at home and most nights he's out shagging something else

[tophatter]

yep, dont treat been single as something that is a drawback, in many ways it is a gift. Grass is always greener and all that. Make the best of what you have and there are plenty of good things about not having a woman to worry about in your life.

Its not just about if they want you, if you settle for second best just for sake of having a woman you will be longing to be single before you know it! Best to look at singledom as a gift you posess which you have been given rather than a curse you want to lose. That way you wont be nervous around woman and will just be yourself because you will just be enjoying yourself and that is a big attraction to a woman in itself.

[Win2Win]

She must have caught me checking her out because she said "Little (s word)" as I walked past. :( :laugh

Now if that was me, and being a typical scouser, I'd have just followed up with "Sorry darling, I was just working out if I had change of 50p to pay you for sex!!"

[TheOldhamWhisper]

...I spotted this hot girl dressed up walking towards us, late twenties I'd say. She must have caught me checking her out because she said "Little (s word)" ...

Next time you 'notice' a nice young lady, keep yer Raincoat closed :yikes: :laugh

[wb]

:laugh

[Onlyforfun]

Flirt, flirt and flirt again. Practise on your female friends, especially ones you might actually fancy, because it might actually work.

Don't be afraid to play the long game either. If you don't get what you want quickly, but don't get a slap, keep going, one day circumstances change and you're in.

[MarcusMel]

The insults have to be funny. Definatly practise the smirk and eye amusment. Don't give a damm about what other people think or say that is their problem.

Knew a salesman who hated women. The report was that he had a string of married women comming to see him :yikes: If you practice the DeAngelo stuff you should have no problems.

As OFF says have loads of fun at work with women you are not interested in by flirting with the FUNNY insults.

[GlosRFC]

Sorry John, but after reading this thread, this was too good an opportunity to miss (http://www.pi.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Flash/john.html) :D

[John]

:laugh :laugh :laugh

Awesome Glos. Just awesome!

I look so happy it's incredible.

[GlosRFC]

As you're on the pull, I obviously went for the puppy-dog eyes look :)

[John]

Let me find a better photo!

[vegyjones]

It's either me or Presto...your choice!

:laugh

[John]

Hello Silax (and everyone else!)... :D

I just booked my speed dating tickets for March 2008. This time I'm going alone and not telling anyone I know about it (apart from you people of course).

It's going to be the best gig of my life (hopefully this one won't get cancelled). :D :laugh

[plater]

Hello Silax (and everyone else!)... :D

I just booked my speed dating tickets for March 2008.

Tried that in the 70's all I got was pretty lights and weird shapes :doh

[silax]

good luck john i can't imagine anything as scary as that.

[John]

I just booked my speed dating tickets for March 2008. This time I'm going alone and not telling anyone I know about it (apart from you people of course).

Just got back. :yikes:

[wb]

Just got back. :yikes:

Well???

[TheOldhamWhisper]

Just got back. :yikes:

You took your time...

:giggle

[John]

I'll let you know as soon as I know everything there is to know! :thumbs

[silax]

and.........

[John]

Sorry dude... didn't see this!

Yeah, no I mean. I didn't get any... but from what I remember I met some amazing women and had a really good night. There's always next time, and now that I've survived it once I'm not afraid to try it again.

Chip up! :D