Diary Of A Swine...

[Merlin]

Diary of a Swine...

Monday August 27th – 7.00pm

Plan to start a diary - not sure if I will add to it everyday or even every week - maybe I wont even make another entry at all :laugh

But as with most good intentions – which usually start well – often ending in disaster…:yikes:

Diary of a swine, is gonna be about my daily betting.

I would describe myself as a recreational punter attempting to make a profit, been betting for donkeys years – still at school when I placed my first bet….I have had some very memorable wins – and losses, big losses during the early years – and with hand on heart – I think that from my first bet to the present, the bookie is winning. :yikes:

This is primarily due to decades of losing – as it is only during the last 10 that I can honestly say I am ahead – but still have losing years…and am not ahead by that much…

Why start a diary? :yikes:

I honestly cant think of a good reason – if I wrote a reason , it would be spinning…however, it quite probably stems from the fact that this year has been very, very difficult – and none more so than the present…

We have all been there..

Roller coaster profit and loss
Lays winning and bets losing….

Welcome to my world…..:laugh

[monty]

If truth be told? you've probably just described 95% of punters. You should have put welcome to the world of betting... :ARsurrend

[tophatter]

this should be a good read,

hope you will throw in the odd anecdote and salacious titbit too as well as your battle against the bookies.:)

[Merlin]

this should be a good read,

hope you will throw in the odd anecdote and salacious titbit too as well as your battle against the bookies.:)

Now, would I do that , TH ?…

[Merlin]

Tuesday 28th August @ 12.45am
............................................

Just been browsing other forums, checking to see if it’s me alone who is contributing to the bookmakers spring break of Feb 08.

My worst fears were confirmed – it seems that every barstard is winning – except yours truly!

Something else which amazes me, and infuriates me too, is the spin on some threads. By this I mean posters who post their bets – and have clearly lost – but somehow they claim they have had a winning day……..:laugh

I learnt long ago, as in real life, to take forum claims with a pinch of the old salt. Let me relate a true story…

There was a punter who for years used to frequent the Ladbrokes and Coral shops of a city which will remain nameless – anyway, he appeared to be a very successful bettor, always wore sharp, expensive suits, designer hair-cut, Italian hand-made shoes, drove a top of the range BMW – and placed his bets in bundles of tenners. The shop staff loved him, as whenever he had a pull he would bung them a score or more each…

About a year ago, whilst reading the online newspaper relevant to this city, I very nearly fell of my office chair, and actually squirted a mouthful of freshly made coffee all over my brand new monitor – half of which half drowned my QWERTY keyboard…

Splashed over the front page was a photograph of this very successful punter, I recognized him immediately – It transpired that for over 10 years he had been gambling with the savings of clients of a very well known building society.

In his position as an agent for the society, he not only opened new accounts, but took deposits too, in addition to advising on other investments – to cut the chase…..Whilst he was on holiday, the building society sent the head office heavies down, they opened his safe, expecting to find bundles of cash – instead they found a hand-written IOU for over a million quid…..:laugh

Sorry to digress, anyway, haven’t sorted any horses out yet – or at least haven’t finalized any for Tuesday…but have been scouting the football bet options, even tried looking for footy bet options in Papua New Guinea league :yikes: – but what’s a desperate man to do, a man who cant seem to collect, a man who everything he touches turns to dust – I must be the only punter who every morning receives a personal call from Victor Chandler…

¨Merlin, you haven’t placed any bets today, just name your odds guv, your time will come – soon ¨

I need a winning bet, I need to collect today – Liverpool will surely beat Toulouse……wont they?….:yikes:

[Win2Win]

I need a winning bet, I need to collect today – Liverpool will surely beat Toulouse……wont they?….

If they don't, you're BANNED :D

[Merlin]

If they don't, you're BANNED :D

I hear they are playing :yikes: Johnny Todd :yikes: had Anfield tonight…is this a first…:?

PS: Johnny Todd is/was the theme tune for Z Cars…

[sparkyminer]

IF they are, I suggest it might be a tribute to the little boy who was shot in Croxteth, who was an Everton fan.

[scoobydoo]

Nice touch if they are eh....well done Liverpool.

[sparkyminer]

http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/news/drilldown/N156815070828-0944.htm

[Merlin]

TUESDAY AUGUST 28th @ 12.55pm
..............................

Yesterday I was convinced I was under the command of eveil spirits, quite likely that of a dead bookie..:yikes:

I googled online exorcism, and came across this great site...

As per instructions, my wife strapped me to a chair and placed me in front of the computer screen, this character appeared calling himself Father Michael O` Caine... with a cockney accent,and a plethora of threats, he banished the demon to the recycle bin...:yikes:....try it, it
works....:laugh

Whilst we are on the subject of priests - here is a true encounter from yesterday...not a physical contact, but a telephone and email thing ...

Just quickly...One day last week one of the Sunday rags contacted me regarding a piece they are running (2 pieces actually) about the late P...Diana - they asked for help in tracing a little girl, who in 1991 was pictured playing with Diana`s neckless - by the way , this is quite a famous picture, some of you are bound to have seen it...

Anyway, after a few days of frenetic searching and networking we manage to kinda locate the girl - who is now a 20 year old woman - living in Sao Paulo...

Here`s the rub - we have to use a catholic priest as a mediator, but he wont tell us where she`s living :yikes:, but did say he would give us all the information we need providing we give him a monetary donation for his orphanage......no worries...agreed this with the rag....but he then turns round and says we cant interview the girl...:yikes: ....

I say to him...

¨But father, the girl is central to this, central to your donation,
central to the story¨ ¨It cannot take place without her¨

After a long telephone silence.....he says...

¨OK...I will agree, but only under the condition that I receive the donation up-front :yikes: that I am present at the interview :yikes:, and I also set the questions you can ask her :yikes:..............

Now call me cynical, mischievous, or whatever you like......but I think it is entirely possible he is hiding something here.....:yikes:...:laugh

Maybe his mucky fingers have a distinct whiff of tuna.....:laugh.....Hope he dont put sandwichies on....

What about yesterdays bets.....OK...

With thanks to Father Michael O` Caine, the betting day was good...

I layed 7 horses....the second of which won:yikes:....but the 6 losers more than compensated , showing almost a lay stake profit........and thats going to be my short term objective...1 lay stake profit and I quit for the day.....risking a maximum of 3 stakes.....daily...

I must confess to having had 3 single bets (only small bets) , all of which lost....MY HORSE SINGLES ARE NOW ON HOLD.... I am going to focus on laying and footy betting....

Footy betting....very good day, thanks to the Scousers and a Brazilian Serie B, bet...both obliging giving me a profit of over 6 points....

So, to recap, its laying and footy betting for the short-term.....

Laying , in and out.......out after a point...or losing 3....

Footy betting......no specific strategy other than betting betwwen 1 and 10 points accordingly...

With demons banished.....profit today...and a monkey (and some) off the rag for services rendered...bobs not your uncle, he is mine....:laugh

:yikes: Anyone for tuna sandwiches? :yikes:

[Merlin]

Here are my lays….already on….:yikes:

Be very, very happy to make a point……will have a chance of doing so even with a winner or 2…….Providing the favourites I have layed get beat….

2.10 MILLFIELDS DREAM
2.20 WOTASHIRTFULL
2.30 DUBAI TIME
2.40 WAR OF THE ROSES
2.40 KATHLEEN KENNET
2.50 NANS LADY
3.00 REDWOOD ROCKS

[Win2Win]

So you want to lay your Nans Lady :yikes:

[Mug OUFC]

This diary is awesome

If a tad odd :D

[Win2Win]

If a tad odd :D

All seems normal on this forum! :doh :lickme

[Merlin]

This diary is awesome

If a tad odd :D

Odd?...odd?.....:yikes:

:laugh.......

[Merlin]

WEDNESDAY AUGUST 29th @ 7.45pm

Things started very well today – layed 7 horses (as posted earlier in the thread) and with only 1 of the nags winning made a lay stake profit…..as near as damn it anyway……

I knew instinctively I was going to have a great start today due to the fact my mother-in-law had given me a birthday present this morning…

I didn’t tell you it was my birthday did I ? :yikes: – Well actually its not :laugh, but let me explain….

Some of you may know that I am married to a Brazilian, and live in Brazil – however, that’s not the point – what is the point , is my mother-in-law, and how she thinks its my birthday today….

When I arrived in Brazil (about 5 years ago) I hadn’t known or realized how fanatically catholic my new mum was – I guess I only realized, when I noticed she spent most of the day in her room fiddling and playing with her rosary beads – if the loop was big enough I swear I would have put it round her neck….:laugh

But anyway, her devotion was confirmed the day she threw holy water over me – or rather, at me…..:yikes:….This was because I had drawn a moustache on her prized picture of the Virgin Mary…:laugh……(this is true by the way)….

OK – back to the birthday bit……

I was out in a bar one afternoon, dancing in the pavement area (half-cut) with some Brazilian babes – and who should be passing in her car – yes – you guessed it, the mother-in-law…:laugh……

She asked her driver to stop the car, got out , approached me chanting all stuff in Latin…..:yikes:……and making the sign of the cross and all that ….. I am unsure whether she did this to protect her or me…but besides this……I had to think on my feet……so I quickly told her it was my birthday……….This was 4 years ago to the day…hence why she thinks today is my birthday…..:yikes:

My present this morning, for the second time in 4 years was a St Christopher chain…..:yikes:….. And it is this St Christopher chain which brought me luck this morning…..(I will tell you what happened to the first one she gave me another time…)

However, as I write, something seems to have gone wrong….because my main footy bet has just gone down the pan…..ie: Celtic…….and worse, I blame St Christopher for making me go in again for the win in extra-time…..it was bound to end in tears…and it did…..

My only hope now is a treble which I have running on 3 games tonight…..if that fails….all yesterdays footy profit and some…..will have vanished……:yikes:….

Bye for now…..hope one of you will put me on your prayer list….

[tophatter]

Happy birthday and 10 hail marys to you for cursing the hoops! :)

[Merlin]

Happy birthday and 10 hail marys to you for cursing the hoops! :)

:laugh........St C had the last laugh...they go through on Pens......:laugh

[Mug OUFC]

Surely none of this is actually true :laugh

[Win2Win]

His mother-in-law is Terry Pratchett :)

[Merlin]

Surely none of this is actually true :laugh

Wanna bet....:yikes:

[Merlin]

THURSDAY 30th August @ 9.50am

Psychologically speaking, its extremely beneficial to be able to take advantage of different time zones.

Because I can declare with absolute and total honesty that I have
commenced today on a winning note – with one of my local teams , Sport winning 2-0 @ 3.45am UK time….

This puts me 5 POINTS in front…which you must admit is a delicious start to a mundane Thursday…:yikes:

Talking about the mundane – well, quite the opposite to be frank.

What does the word ¨celebration¨ mean to you?

I found a good definition, come description of what it means to me…

¨ the festivities engaged in to celebrate something¨

Whenever I defeat the bookie I always celebrate – in fact my celebration is almost ritualistic, bordering on an obsessive compulsion :yikes:

When they win, some people pop the champagne whilst others treat
themselves to something…I suppose my winning ritual falls into the latter category.

Let me explain….whenever I win , I always masturbate :yikes:

It follows clearly what I was doing at 3.45am this morning...no worries - no problem.....a celebration at home, in privacy, is quite acceptable...:yikes:...

I am however extremely worried about this evening (will be afternoon for me).....Besides laying from 2.00 to 4.00 today, in the privacy of my own home/office.....What is really stressing me is the overwhelming compulsion I will feel at 5.30pm local time should today`s main bet win, ie: Dundalk to beat Wexford Youths...

At this time, I will be in the midst of a meeting discussing promiscuity and sexual abuse in the community...:yikes:...:yikes:....:yikes:...

How on earth am I going to resist the impossible urge to check live score dot com? :yikes: - moreover....if the result is a positve one....You may not hear from me for a very. very long time.....:laugh

I am half hoping my bet loses........:laugh

[Mug OUFC]

:helper

[Merlin]

:helper

YOU ONLY SING WHEN YOUR ROWING
YOU ONLY SING WHEN YOUR ROWING
SING WHEN YOUR ROWING,
YOU ONLY SING WHEN YOUR ROOWWIINNGG….

:laugh

[Win2Win]

whenever I win , I always masturbate

:yikes: I thought it was just me that done that.....

[Mug OUFC]

The really amazing thing is that I trust my own money in this mans gambling advice :yikes:

[Merlin]

The really amazing thing is that I trust my own money in this mans gambling advice :yikes:

:yikes:…..you better start a diary, too, then….:laugh

[Mug OUFC]

You know and I know I cant compete with mentalism like this merl :D

[tophatter]

Ive gone right off those little chocolate minature chocolate bars you can buy now Ive heard Merlins interpertation of a celebration! :yikes:

[Merlin]

THURSDAY 30th August @ 11.00pm

Thursday was a day of grand celebration :yikes: 2 from 2 winning footy bets - with the large staked Dundalk coming through very late to win 2-0

As mentioned in my earlier entry, I was actually in a meeting at the time of the whistle - however, I am only human, and despite the strongest possible resistance , it was impossible for me to ignore the almighty urge to find out the score.

On to live score - bingo - bingo - bingo - yahoo...I need to celebrate :yikes: But the meeting hadn`t finished :yikes: I felt compelled to celebrate...absoultely compelled.....it was out of my hands......:yikes: ...

To cut the chase...can you imagine how difficult it was to choke the monkey... with my chair pressed right up to the table (as far it would go anyway)...and to make matters worse...I had the deputy chief of police on my left, a psychologist on my right and opposite me was the parish priest :yikes: Holy Mother.....it was like trying to peel a banana , which had been selotaped into its skin....and with one hand, to boot :laugh.....

It was a spunky thing to do, which could easily have rendered me in hand-cuffs - but I just had to celebrate - you understand.....

I must soon figure out a new celebration activity...rapid...

So all-in-all, I made the best part of 10 points profit on the footy...HOWEVER, I did lose 1 and a half points on afternoon laying - I layed 11 and hit 3 winners...but it was still a bookie flattening day...

Catch you later...

[Merlin]

FRIDAY 31st August @ 12.30am
…………………………………….

I scoured the World Leagues for a Friday footy bet - and ended up once again on the Emerald Isle - I will be taking St Patrick’s to beat Waterford for a large stake. A little nervous about taking it - coz they have kicked me in the balls before - but Waterford have a few players out, and even with a few players in - their crappy...:laugh...so it should pan out alright....

Oh - the odds are about 1.50 - speaks for itself really...

Been waiting for a phone call of that smug barsteward , Victor Chandler, but he never rings me when I’m winning…..mores the pity, coz I had a proposition for him :yikes:

I will tell you quickly what plan B is, and my proposition for Vic – it’s only if my betting should go tits-up…as a kinda last resort…

The idea came to me yesterday – actually, as I was walking home from that meeting I told you about…

I looked across the street and saw 3 or 4 groups of guys, all of them immaculately dressed – starched white shirts….and I mean white – ironed with military precision creases, matching same length ties, very smart black trousers, shoes shined like a glass-topped coffee-table…

There’s more…

Artisan chiseled features, bronze tan – slim and fit looking, perfect hair-cut, toned muscular build – to be honest if I was homo – I might have fancied 1 or 2 of em…..:yikes:

It turned out, these guys were Latter Day Saints……or Mormons to you and me :yikes:

They have a great scam going in Brazil (which is irritating to the Catholic Church :laugh).

They come here on tourist visas, extend their visa in-country, and go round preaching in squares, parks etc – visit communities and do a bit of general networking (all fluent Portuguese speakers too)….they get a bit of a congregation going, build a new church, take 10% from all income and earnings……and away to go….:yikes:…..

How can people be so stupid and give these guys 10% of everything – they grow richer and richer and richer :yikes:…..

Lets face it, Victor C will rip my arm off when I tell him he can make 10% on turnover…….its a bookies and punters dream ……….and all you got to do is tell everyone that Jesus loves them, and died for them, and will save them – as long as they give 10%..:yikes:

I will def have my church set-up by this time next year….

Only mine will be better…..No virgins, I will only steal 8% of income and earnings – there will be no hell …..the second coming will take on an entirely new meaning………temptation will be fine, and we wont want to be delivered from evil ,either…….

Utah – eat your heart out…..and come on St Patricks…..

[Mug OUFC]

You could publich this stuff merl :D

By the way, what IS your job? One is intrigued...

[Win2Win]

By the way, what IS your job? One is intrigued...

...that all depends on if the doctors allow him sharp objects or not :D

[Merlin]

what IS your job? One is intrigued...

By day I:
..........

Sweep, vacuum, mop and wax floors, clean carpets, dust and polish furniture, clean and supply restrooms, collect and throw out trash, wash walls and ceilings, replace lights, and polish metal work.

I sometimes do minor repairs, paint, do carpentry work, kill
insects and other pests, clean heavy machinery, tend furnaces, air
conditioners and boilers, operate heavy machinery such as paper balers – I guess I`m a Janitor.....

By night I:
................

specialize in dealing with the health of the female reproductive system, in other words I am a vaginal investigator… - or to you and me a Gynecologist ….

[Win2Win]

or to you and me a Gynecologist ….

...and, I might add, fully qualified. I have seen the certificate he got off Ebay :rolleyes:

[Mug OUFC]

:yikes: :laugh

You are a janitor who works online and locates missing people for the media :ooo

Or have i missed a joke somewhere (wouldnt be the first time) :D

[monty]

Merlin have I got this right? You went to Brazil to live amongst Brazilians with Brazilians, but you need to wait until you get a winner before you, what did you call it “celebrate”? No wonder you were so happy to get out of that dark tunnel last week, It must have been desperate times...:splapme

Mate! I promise you that I will try harder to pick out some more winners for you. I honestly didn’t realise that each winner meant that much to you….lol...:D

Cracking Diary by the way....:D

[Win2Win]

If he follows Vegy's tips he'll be celebate....

[Merlin]

FRIDAY AUGUST 31st @ 11.00PM

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER WITH SEMEN

...Another very good day - with main wager St Patricks winning 4-1....In addition to the fact I only layed 3 horses during the afternoon...all lost...made my target lay stake - and done a runner....Needless to say, I was celebrating for most of the day...

Think I ought to clarify something here about celebrating and winning - its not because I have won money - to be frank, I dont gamble to win money (at least not with the sole, direct purpose of winning money) - to be even franker, I dont really care that much for money...:yikes:...I really wish we could live in a world without money...:yikes:...

However, I do accept and realise that some people just adore money, take my wife, I am convinced she loves money more than she loves me - But thats fine by me - because I love her sister more than I love her...:laugh

She must have inherited her love of money from her father, coz he
absolutely worships it - in fact, he only married her mother because of it....:laugh or rather for it...

I will relate a true story about his love of money another time, but for now I just want to stress that my mother-in-law, despite coming from a very wealthy family, does not overtly care much for money...However, she is stupid with it...very stupid...let me explain...

About 3 years ago I discovered that every other Thursday, promptly at 6.30am she would write out a cheque for R$ 1000, this is about 250 quid...she would place the cheque in an envelope, then give it to her driver, who would drive the couple hundred yards to her parish catholic church, the church door would be shut but unlocked - he would enter and place the envelope on the collection tray...:yikes: ...twice a month...:yikes:

Now I know I told you I dont care much for money - and its true - I dont. However, as also related to you, my wife loves the stuff...So like the loving husband that I am, I pointed out to her that her mother is giving away her inheritance at an alarming rate...:yikes:...and in order to protect her from any future losses, anguish and depression, I decided to act.

What I do is this:

Every other Thursday at around 6.30am I rise, take ablutions, jump in the car and drive to the church - as soon as my mother-in-laws driver pulls away, I get out of the car, run into the church , retrieve the envelope - open it, take out the cheque, put 10 Reais in there instead (about 2.50 pence), and put it back on to the collection plate...I dont need to tell you that in my office drawer I have some 70 odd cheques - totalling near 18,000 Pounds...:yikes:......but the bad news is, I have donated about 175 quid to the catholic church.....:laugh...

Saturdays main bets are going to be....Liverpool to win half-time and full-time.....and Swansea City to beat Doncaster at a tasty 1/1....Of course there will be some afternoon laying, too...

Good luck...and God Bless....

[Win2Win]

...and God Bless....

I was going to let all the vulgar obscenities go, but you've overstepped the line with this one :D

[mathare]

I dont need to tell you that in my office drawer I have some 70 odd cheques - totalling near 18,000 Pounds...:yikes:......but the bad news is, I have donated about 175 quid to the catholic church.....:laugh :hahaha

[bigcumba]

:laugh Merl, you have a natural talent for writing.... if this thread doesn't earn you your rep gold star soon I'll be very surprised!

[Merlin]

Gold Star....:yikes:....God Bless You.....:laugh
..........................................................

SUNDAY 2ND SEPTEMBER @ 1.25am

I really must find a new way of celebrating, I very nearly got caught red-handed Saturday morning :yikes:

As is customary, our maid has her own room, seperate shower and toliet etc...At about 4.00am , unable to sleep, I wandered to the kitchen on a fridge sortie when it occured to me that I hadnt celebrated one of Friday`s wins...

Overwhelmed with guilt,anxiety and a compulsion to complete the mission, I reached for the chicken´s neck with my right-hand, (my left hand was already submerged in the trifle)...now what happened next was surreal...

Some of you will be able relate to, somehow, uncannily, sensing someone coming behind you - well I kinda sensed that someone was about to enter the kitchen, I turned my head round and saw the maid coming down the passageway - Oh my God...:yikes:...my left hand was submerged in trifle, and my right was chicken strangling - what on earth was I to do?...:yikes:...

Anyway, to cut it short - I feigned my way out of being caught celebrating, by pretending to search for something under the kitchen units - face down on the floor - of course....:laugh....but lesson learnt - I aint gonna celebrate future wins with a chicken choke anymore - no way - I am now going to start mooning instead...

Not that I had much to celebrate on Saturday - it was a tough day for me....Liverpool did the biz...in great style....wot a team they are at present....It was Swansea who let me down - as they carried the biggest stake...They did look set to win until they had a man sent off....it was endsville after the red....

Laying - dont really want to talk about my laying day.......in one word it was - distasteful - very, very distasteful....I put my lays on, went out, came back to see the backers had pulverised me - robbed me of 5 stakes...my worst laying day - ever....Its not a total disaster as I am still 10 stakes up on the month - but I wouldnt want too many days like that....:yikes:...It will be slowly, slowly catchy monkey for the next week or so...

I want to leave you with one word, or two words actually....

ARSENAL & MOONING...The former being my main bet today and the latter being the result of the anticipated win.......wonder where I will be at around 11.15am local time.....:yikes:

[Merlin]

Guess what I was doing at about 11.30am (local time) on Sunday morning?....

Up The Gunners...:butthead::butthead::butthead::butthead:

Yep - you guessed - on my balcony with The Marcels rendition of Blue Moon blasting...

Now, I understand that some people may not agree entirely, or even agree at all, with my celebratory choices - but I have in the past done all the absurdly usual things, such as, get a takeaway - get some extra booze in - a special dinner for two...but they just dont cut any ice with me...

You may well come to the conclusion that mooning to celebrate a win is absurd :rolleyes: - but the truth is the whole set-up is absurd - life is absurd - winning is absurd - losing is absurd - even absurd is absurd...:yikes:

Talking about the absurd reminds me of the latest spin from Rome (amongst other places):rolleyes:...

Its been revealed that for half of her life , the albanian nun did not feel the prescence of God :rolleyes:, well what a friggin surprise, knock me down with a feather - How Absurd - but it gets better - Pope Benedick said that she experienced the silence of God - well of course she did...she was a social worker not a bloody saint....:splapme

Its quite obvious that Benedick is :spinning king of the spinners :spinning - what I want to know is what are the child support agency going to do about it? are they going to chase this geezer called God ?....coz thats what they usually do isn`t it ?...chase absent fathers :wink

I was also going to relate that story I promised you about my father-in-law and is absurd love, nay, absurd worship of money...But I am afraid my time is up...

Just quickly on to my main hope of a super duper mooning Monday - its over to the Emerald again... The Eircom Premier leaders Drogheda United to slap the ass :butthead: of UCD - come on bend over...:whip

Have an absurd Monday.....

[Merlin]

Merlin is Dead

[Win2Win]

Merlin is Dead

Juiceless :ooo

[Merlin]

2.10 Ling – Apparently TEN JACKQUEEN hás been put in this seller to win it.....4/1 generally available...

Beware – the horse has the form to win….is very unreliable….but the stable is trying with it – apparently…

[Win2Win]

Got hammered in a seller last time though, I'd lay it but my systems have thrown it up, so a no bet for me today.

[vegyjones]

2.10 Ling – Apparently TEN JACKQUEEN hás been put in this seller to win it.....4/1 generally available...

Blocked at the furlong pole which ended his chance.

Ran on well though... would have been there or thereabouts otherwise!

[Merlin]

Blocked at the furlong pole which ended his chance.

Ran on well though... would have been there or thereabouts otherwise!

I have plenty of trouble with blockages today – but thats another story…:laugh…

The bugger was well supported….probably want to get shot of it…..with great emphasis on the ¨shot¨:yikes:….

Anyhow, for all intents and purposes I have quit backing……for now…..that was a one-off…..mores the pity…

[Win2Win]

He got hammered :doh ......it was a class 'Z' seller....

[Merlin]

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 6th @ 9.50am

Some things are better left unsaid – hence no diary entry, at least of substance, for the best part of 72 hours…

My jacksy remained stoutly in my trousers all day Monday, but it did get to see the sunshine on Tuesday, due to a fortunate large single and even more fortunate winning multiple on a Brazilian Serie A footy bet – I am now utterly convinced that pigs can fly…

However, due to pulverization on the exchanges there is a paler shade of white in the silver lining – I am down , but not out – and am accustomed to the roller coaster ride of laying – I do live dangerously simply because I prefer to lay shorter prices – the heat is acceptable, and I will remain in the kitchen….After all – its only money – and easy come – easy go….

Speaking of the folding stuff and the adulation of it – my father-in-law, yes, the old reprobate has plenty of it, will do almost anything for it, and will do even more to keep it…

I am unable to declare honestly that he is amoral – full stop - because he does have some moral concerns. Take for instance the first time I met him…His words to me, were:

¨I must tell you one thing – and that is that there are no divorced women in my family – only widows¨ :yikes:

But that was 5 years ago – since then I have learned that he wasn’t joking….

The primary reason I write about him today is that I want to write about a living person , as the indications are the old bugger will be leaving us soon. I am so convinced of this that whenever he is in my car, I always, always ensure that I have a coffin in the boot.

He was born a poor boy – of Portuguese descent – but in actual fact his Portuguese ancestors were and still are very wealthy – but unfortunately for him, his grandfather eloped to Brazil with a girl he should not have eloped with :yikes:…..and was , along with his heirs disinherited….Now I think this little fact may have caused his obsession with the green stuff…

His father apparently drummed into him and his two brothers the need to marry a rich woman – this drumming served as a compulsion – and indeed turned into a reality – enter my mother-in-law…..

I will leapfrog a large proportion of the tale on how he came to marry a rich woman – but will relate an insight into his deviousness…

By the time his father-in-law had died, he had already wormed his way into favour – so much so that :yikes: he was declared the executor :yikes: of his very large estate (sugar plantation)…

One little titbit consequence of this was to almost entirely rob his brother-in-law of a large proportion of his inheritance…..to cut a long story…..

As an unmarried late teen, his brother-in-law had asked him to watch over his inheritance until he had found a wife……:yikes:…

One fine day, his very excited brother-in-law called to say that he was engaged to be married and he was now ready and able to discuss the transfer of his inheritance…..

To be continued…….run out of time……sorry…..so very sorry………

On to todays bets…….my main hope is twofold…..HALIFAX TOWN :yikes: to win away…and Brazilian Serie A team SPORT RECIFE to win at home……if either or both of these win……my backside will see the glorious sunshine…….

[Merlin]

:ass1 Thats for todays laying :ass1

[mat_s99]

Really enjoying this Merl... although some of your celebration methods are described so vividly that well....

Moving on..

as a fellow Leeds fan, did you hear of the English bookie Skybet's cockup earlier today? The crux is that they had odds of 9-1 on Beckford and Candoll to score over 30 between them for the season! Now... as they have 5 goals so far between them, and we are *touch wood* currently winning and scoring for fun and long may this continue this struck me as crazy value and i had a sniff, i'dve had such a wager as around 3-1 so i was pretty pleased! Just hope we can hang on to them both for the season

Anyway, keep blogging and keep mooning on those wins!

[Win2Win]

Really enjoying this Merl... although some of your celebration methods are described so vividly that well....

I've been dreaming of him doing IT!!! :yikes:

[Merlin]

Really enjoying this Merl... although some of your celebration methods are described so vividly that well....

Moving on..

as a fellow Leeds fan, did you hear of the English bookie Skybet's cockup earlier today? The crux is that they had odds of 9-1 on Beckford and Candoll to score over 30 between them for the season! Now... as they have 5 goals so far between them, and we are *touch wood* currently winning and scoring for fun and long may this continue this struck me as crazy value and i had a sniff, i'dve had such a wager as around 3-1 so i was pretty pleased! Just hope we can hang on to them both for the season

Anyway, keep blogging and keep mooning on those wins!

Serves them bookies right......the thing is....everyman and his dog were wearing black for Leeds Utd – whilst simultaneously sniggering and wishing them a happy slide down the slippery slope……..now it looks as if recovery beckons….on all fronts….not least on the most important front of all – on a Saturday afternoon…

Long may it continue….

[vegyjones]

Still 13 points behind the mighty O's though :lickme

[mat_s99]

We are.. but give it 12-14 games and we'll be out of sight Vegster!! Storming stuff.

[silax]

very good merlin might have a go at this blogg lark myself.
last 2 months would have been very interesting.

[Merlin]

SATURDAY 8th SEPTEMBER @ 10.10am

These past two days my laying has been exquisite – Halifax claimed a well earned victory on Thursday night – My max footy bet on Friday stormed home – it is fair and entirely true to say that the cheeks off my ass have seen a fair bit of sunshine…

Imagine the following conversation, between two brothers-in-law – entirely true – the exception being the customary name changes – only the dumbest reader will need an explanation of who is who…:laugh

GABRIEL: ¨Brother-in-law ,I have courted the most beautiful girl imaginable, we are set to marry, may I come over and discuss the transfer of my inheritance? ¨

LUCIFER: ¨My dear, dear, dear, , dear brother-in-law, this is the most wonderful happiest news, I shall inform your sister immediately. By the way, it is much more fitting that we meet for a whisky to discuss this¨

GABRIEL: Splendid idea, I shall wait at the Bar de Equivocator, see you at eleven¨

LUCIFER: (upon entering the bar) ¨ Brother-in-law, congratulations, come on let me shake your hand – your sister sends her best wishes – she is over the moon¨

LUCIFER: ¨Garcon, bring over a bottle of scotch, would you¨

GABRIEL: Brother-in-law, I am so , so very happy, I shall find a buyer for my inheritance, and buy a large plot with a generous sized house, and maybe I can become your business partner too¨

LUCIFER: Here, here, my dear-brother-in-law. However, I am afraid I have some rather bad news for you, I really don’t quite know how to tell you¨.

GABRIEL: ¨Speak , sir, please speak¨

LUCIFER: ¨ For a long time, I have wanted to tell you – but alas, have never had the courage to do so – I suppose that I have no alternative but to now inform you…¨

GABRIEL: ¨ Inform me of what , sir?¨

LUCIFER: Well – you know the 86,000 thousand head of cattle your father left you¨

GABRIEL: ¨Not forgetting, Sir, the herd has some of Brazil`s best bull stock¨

LUCIFER: ¨Had , some of Brazil`s best bull stock, had…¨

GABRIEL: I don’t understand , Sir, what do you mean, ¨had¨

LUCIFER: My dear, dear, very dear brother-in-law, I am afraid that the whole herd has died – they contracted the most terrible , terrible cattle virus you could ever imagine – wiped the whole lot of them out, about 3 years ago¨

GABRIEL: The whole 86,000 of them?

LUCIFER: ¨Afraid so, I just didn’t have the heart to tell you – I am so sorry , so very, very sorry – but I am afraid that your inheritance died with them¨

GABRIEL: Oh sir, I am so beside myself, I don’t know what to do, my plans, my marriage, my dreams, all gone – this is absolutely devastating , what am I to do?

LUCIFER: Don’t worry my son, I will give you enough money to buy a very modest house, whats more, I will even give you a job in one of my furniture making factories – how does that sound…..?¨

GABRIEL: Oh, why, thank you so, your generosity will never be forgotten – ever. My sister is a very luck girl to have married a very kind man like you¨

LUCIFER: Think nothing of it, my dear brother-in-law, think nothing of it…..¨

Now I will skip quite a bit here, as I have lays to put on…..:yikes:

However, another time, I will relate to you the true story of how Gabriel discovered that his 86,000 head, did not suffer a viral death – but were actually :yikes: sold to a very large rancher bordering Sao Paulo State.

Before I sign-off, I feel I must comment ever so briefly on the Maddie affair – only in as much as to mention what I was talking about the other day – do you remember, I mentioned the absurd?

Clearly this case is now twisting and turning, and turning and twisting so absurdly, that theories abound – the press and public overfloweth with the absurd….:yikes:

And whilst it is entirely possible, in fact very possible that Kate McCann is the wicked witch of Leicestershire – and a killer, to boot. It is also entirely possible that she is caught up in the absurd…

It smacks of something straight out of the Camus library, are you going to condemn me for a very , very factual Camus type statement?

Can I share a fact with you – the fact that I didn’t cry at my mother’s funeral……

In fact, I was dressed very, very smartly , wore aftershave, had a perfect haircut, wore a shy smile for people I did not know, and a naked one for those I did …although during the service and procession I had not an iota of emotion – it was business as usual…

That gives me something in common with Kate McCann - doesnt`t it?



TODAY, TODAY, TODAY – ONE WORD….

LEEDS
LEEDS
LEEDS
LEEDS
LEEDS
LEEDS

If the above mentioned win today – for the first time ever, my ass will be greased with calamine.

Good Day and Good Luck….

[Merlin]

:rolleyes: Far From The ¨Maddieing Crowd¨:rolleyes:
...........................................

It is patently obvious what my diary entry is about – Maddie – Maddie – :censored: Who the F*** is Maddie?:censored:

It has been rumored that whilst on a family holiday in Portugal little Maddie McCann was taken from her bed by a vile, vile, vile pedophile :whip ;fire. However, this may not be at all true.

:)Lets examine the facts:), lets try and dispel the scaremongers, the rumor mongers, let us try and differentiate between the sleuths and truths…

:wink THE SECRET DIARY OF KATE McCANN, AGED 39 & THREE-QUARTERS :wink
...........................................................................................

From an entry in Kate McCann’s diary it is obvious that she has made a written confession to killing her daughter , Madelaine.

Here is the entry: (scrawled in pencil on the inside back cover)

Who killed Maddie?
I, said Kate,
with my syringe, did sedate,
I killed Maddie.

:splapme WHAT KATY DID NEXT :splapme
.............................

In short – she panicked!

As her diary entry shows, Katy gave sedatives to little Maddie.

As written elsewhere in her diary, Maddie was a handful, she was a little brat who needed shutting-up, Katy and her husband desperately needed peace and quiet, they were so much looking forward to having dinner with their ::hump swinging friends ::hump – and Maddie was creating a song and a dance about them going out – again…

:heartySLEEPING BEAUTY:hearty
.......................

Maddie was fast asleep, in a deep , deep sleep – and there was not a prince in the whole wide-world who could wake her, because mummy had given her too much medicine.

:spinningDOCTOR WHO?:spinning
....................

Katy was beside herself – she had killed her own lovely, beautiful daughter – what was she to do?

It was obvious what she had to do, she had to enlist the help of the Doctor – Doctor Who?

Enter the time travelling Doctor Gerry McCann – I must state the obvious here in as much as that there is some confusion as to the timing of certain events and actions – but to the perceptive sleuth this is easily explained.

The Doctor was a time traveler, which quite obviously accounts for differing witness versions of who was where at what time and what they did at a specific time.

:helperGERRY AND THE PACEMAKERS:helper
......................................

Dr Gerry McCann was a heart specialist who enlisted further help. He obviously had to cover for his wife ,but he couldn’t do this alone, Oh no…..So he enlisted the help of a friend or two or three – they formed a group which the Portuguese police are referring to as Gerry and the Pacemakers…

The police asked Gerry:

¨How do you do do it?¨

Gerry replied:

¨Ferry cross the straight of Gibralter ¨:lickme

The police asked him further questions:

¨Will you come back to Portugal for questioning?¨:headbange

Gerry replied

¨I`ll be there¨:Blacklistnonono:

As he whispered to Katy ¨ It's Gonna Be Alright", "You'll Never Walk Alone":cryer

:bounceyCARRY ON DOCTOR:bouncey
.........................

TOM (an unkown pacemaker) and Gerry are quite obviously protecting Katy – they have fled to England, as the Portuguese heat was getting to them, notwithstanding they were about to be stoned in the square , opposite the church in the now famous pedophile resort, The Beach of Darkness.

The Doctors new spokesperson, Philomena ¨Hattie Jacques¨ McCann said today…lay-off my Kate and Gerry, it is obvious that Robert ¨Charles Hawtrey¨Murat is the guilty one....

..............................................................................................

PS: Loyd Grossman was seen in Rothley today, apparently filming a new series of Through The Keyhole.

He was today seen pointing at a house in a quiet street, and whispering, ¨:ooo Who lives in a house like this¨:ooo

[Merlin]

:ass1 For LEEDS :ass1

:ass1 For SWANSEA :ass1

[Merlin]

:ass1 Its been a great few days :ass1

:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1
:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1

[Win2Win]

You must be copying off me then :headbange :headbange :headbange :headbange :headbange

[Merlin]

:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 UCD ARE GREAT :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1
Finn Harps are great , too:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1
:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1

[Merlin]

Anyone got any calamine lotion?

My ass is as red as a baboon on heat….

Had a great run on the footy….and made ninety something points this month……bestest ever…..and considering my season target was 100….its all downhill from here……

Will most definitely increase my stake in October……of course the point strength will remain as is….its just a point will mean a higher stake from my side of it….

Got to go................. got a pussy to stroke…..

Come on Leeds…..(not to much of an hammering for the Swans though:yikes: )

[Win2Win]

Go Derby...Go Derby....

[Merlin]

Go Derby...Go Derby....

:yikes:...........

[Merlin]

I am so peeved with myself – I am almost overcome with masochistic thoughts :yikes:….Why – why why…..?

Leeds won today….I got laid…….I had a blow……..I ate a steak bigger than Mourinho's ego – Yet feel so annoyed……:yikes: Why – why why….?

I will tell you why…because I committed two cardinal gambling sins….

1) I took an unnecessary risk….
2) Then took another unnecessary risk…..

And all in the pursuit of reaching a milestone 100 Point month on my footy betting….

But as some of us know, and indeed I know too well myself……trying to rush it was doomed to fail…..

Reminds me of an immature young man having his first sexual experience with a bird he had always wanted to hump…..Rush – rush – rush…..

Ripped knickers – forced entry - :yikes: all over…… :yikes: …. He waited 4 years for the moment - and a moment it was….:laugh …… then he would phone all his mates and tell them he had humped her all night long…:laugh

Sorry…I am digressing…..

I too tried to rip and force my way to the objective (of 100 Points)…and my effort too was all over in a moment……Rush – rush – rush = Fail – fail – fail…. :yikes:

I am now down to 80 something points….which still leaves me a tad over 2k up for the month……wonder if I will make the 100 Points ?…..I have a week left to try…….In fact I wont try at all….if it happens it happens….if not….well , you cant win em all….

[tophatter]

Yep merl, as you know you are never more vulnerable than when you are on a roll.

This is when you have to be at your sharpest and that means no rushing, you have climed a steep hill very quickly, rush and lose your footing and you slide down quick. Take your time and lose your footing and you can grab a branch and arrest your slide - that way you might slip back a bit but at least you aint broke your legs and can carry on climbing!

[Merlin]

Wise words TH....wise words....

I have found it is sometimes HARDER to manage winning periods than losing ones…….

[tophatter]

it is very difficult. All you can do is try and stick to the methods you know make you money and try not to let the results, good or bad, influence your selection.

Winning is harder because it dont hurt. When you feel pain you know there is danger, the trick with that pain when gambling is to be strong enough to withstand it, that is where staking and risk management comes in. When you are winning that pain is replaced with euphoria and thats when you have to use discipline and realism because it is very easy to lose those safeguards when the pain is not there to remind you why you need them.

I have to take my hat off to you Merl, 80 points profit is some going especially on the football where you are relying on current form and subjective analysis rather than the historical, statistical form we can find with horseracing. Top tipping!

[Merlin]

SUNDAY 23rd SEPTEMBER
..................................
BRAZIL SERIE A
NAUTICO V SPORT
.........................


It’s a big day for :football21: fans of Nautico and Sport :football21:, the two oldest professional football clubs in Recife, northeast Brazil – today is the..

"O Clássico dos Clássicos" which really means, in English; the Derby of all Derby’s.

I am a huge fan of Nautico, and consequently known as a :football3:FANAUTICO.:football3:

There are 3 professional teams in Recife and my allegiance to Nautico, in particular, is almost certainly due to being thrust into a Fanautico environment upon arrival in Brazil – life would have been :8_1_215: tricky:8_1_215: if I had shown other allegiances….

:football3:NAUTICO:football3:
………….
Being established in 1901, as a :yikes: rowing club :yikes:, Nautico is the oldest club in Recife. But it wasn’t until 1905 when the club developed a proper and serious football section, initiated and formed by :yikes: Englishmen :yikes:(more correctly British, as their were some Scots, too) who were living and :REGamblMoworking:REGamblMo in the area (engineers and traders).

Nautico became known as the :REGamblMo¨club of the rich¨:REGamblMo , because they would not allow :Blacklistnonono: black players :Blacklistnonono: in the team, but readily accepted :killer white players, not only from the local area, but from anywhere in Brazil and beyond.

This policy created a schism, and guess what happened? :rolleyes:

A small group broke away and formed another team, and guess what they called themselves?:rolleyes:

Yep – you got it – SPORT…:splapme


:icon_tong SPORT :icon_tong
……….
We know from the aforementioned how Sport was founded, and as a side-issue of interest – Some football clubs all over the world were founded by schisms of one sort or another, be it over :splapmeskin colour:splapme or :splapmeclass.:splapme A very famous example is the two big Milan clubs, whereby Inter Milan was formed by a breakaway group from AC Milan, who were unhappy about AC being dominated by Italians (or more correctly, working class Italians, particularly from the south). And today, both Inter Milan and Nautico et al, still have the elitist cross to bear:rolleyes: – whilst AC Milan and Sport enjoy a massive working class fan base.

:thechopDerby of all Derby’s.:thechop – Today’s game…

Nautico are the hosts, and oddly are favourites.:yikes: I say oddly, because they have not got a good record in these games :nutter– lets take a look at some stats:

During the past 5 years there have been 13 head-to-heads…

SPORT have won 6 :dung

NAUTICO have won 3 :sport-smi

There have been 2 draws :GP

It actually gets much worse for Nautico if we look only at the 2007 games…

SPORT won 3 in 2007:uoyurs
NAUTICO are yet to beat Sport in 2007.:dung

Lets break the head to heads down a bit further…(with Nautico as the home team)

From 6 head to heads, its 2 wins a piece and 2 draws –
Clearly, on balance, SPORT comes out pretty much on-top in the head-to-head stats…

What about current league position and form?

Sport are currently 9th in Serie A, whilst Nautico are sitting in 18th position. However, :clpNautico are on an unbeaten run of 4 games:clp, including 2 recent very good away wins – they are in ascendancy at the mo….On the other hand, Sport have drawn 2, lost and won one from their last 4 games…

On balance then, Nautico are in better current form – but its never that cut and dried , is it!

This is a big derby, huge rivalry, and both clubs will have an insatiable desire to win:mady – Nautico need the win more than Sport – as they are currently occupying a Serie A relegation spot….but it’s a tough pick – especially for me being a subjective Fanautico….

My head tells me to bet Sport:yikes:, because in my view they represent a bit of value – lets take a look at the prices:

NAUTICO = 2.10
DRAW = 3.25
SPORT = 3.35

Don’t you agree, with the information I have given you, according to the prices, Sport are the head pick?:yikes:

I will be going to this game:horse, and I don’t want to be in the situation where I am shouting for Nautico and hoping that Sport win because of my bet……I will play it safe – and go for the overs bet…..

OVER 2.50 Goals looks good to me,:smokin the price is a bit short @ 1.75 – but I really do think its kinda nailed on:smokin….(in my opinion)….

However, if I wasn’t a Nautico fan, ?


In addition to my overs bet, I am going to have a HT/FT DOUBLE as a side-bet….

Oh, just before I sign off….:rolleyes:

The overs and unders stats….

The last 13 games have ONLY produced 6 overs…..BUT…The average goals per game has been 3. That is 13 games producing 39 goals…

:Blacklistnonono:BUT- BUT – BUT:Blacklistnonono: –NAUTICO have scored 11 goals in the last 3 games::hump…SPORT have only scored 4:giggle , but that is 15 between them…..mean averaging 5 goals a game…..which of course, bodes well for the overs….

MY BET
………..
OVERS @ 1.75 = 9 POINTS
HT/FT DOUBLE RESULT
HT/FT Double : Nautico / Sport @ 34.00 = ½ POINT
HT/FT Double : Sport / Náutico @ 29.00 = ½ POINT

10 POINT BET –

Good Luck if you play…..:bouncey

[Merlin]

Just the 1 other bet today...

As much as I admire West Ham, being my favourite London club an all…..cant see them getting much joy at Newcastle today – I bet Derby against the toon last week..which came off….but it will be different today – just in case though….

Its draw no bet @ 1.50 with Paddy Power……large stake…

[Merlin]

:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 NEWCASTLE ARE GREAT :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1
:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1
:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1


COME ON NAUTICO

[Win2Win]

Great goals by Owen...what a hero :doh

[tophatter]

Nice win for Newcastle there - you did not have too much cause for concern there Merl - nice when you have a large bet and its not too hairy!

[Win2Win]

....and its not too hairy!

I beg your pardon! :ooo

[Merlin]

After Toons win yesterday…it was (from a betting point of view)…sad……failed to achieve the overs in my footy bet…although my team Nautico won 2-0…little consolation…….

Only 1 bet today, I predict a draw in the Irish Cup match between St Pats and Bohemians…with a reverse half-time full-time side bet…..I will get one of those buggers up soon….:yikes:

Had some great news this morning – according to my wife….my father-in-law is talking about dying….He feels, The great bingo caller in the sky is about to call his number………

I will tell you now – there is no one who will shout ¨BINGO¨ louder than me……just hope its not a frigging false call…….

[Onlyforfun]

Had some great news this morning – according to my wife….my father-in-law is talking about dying….He feels, The great bingo caller in the sky is about to call his number………

I will tell you now – there is no one who will shout ¨BINGO¨ louder than me……just hope its not a frigging false call…….

Know how you feel, mine is talking about blowing all his dosh (in my opinion) by trying to live a self-sufficient lifestyle in terms of food and energy. Considering he's in his 70's, is in ill-health and fails to complete even the most trivisal DIY task, I foresee huge medical and tradesman bills. Since I have already redesigned his house in my head to my specification I'm not impressed. :D

[Merlin]

:smileybigtmouth:

:bouncey Just heard that he is being taken to the hospital :bouncey

:Blacklistnonono: Dont you be coming back home now ¨daddy¨ oh no! :Blacklistnonono:

:waver

[Win2Win]

:laugh

[Merlin]

Not to happy.......my only bet today...........

The draw (and reverse HT/FT was looking good at half time…

The away team (Bohs) were leading 0-1, and down to 10 men…

Things looked perfect for at least a draw…….maybe even that elusive reverse result….but no…no…no…no…..St Pats equalized…but Bohs scored again..winning 1-2………..just wasn’t to be….

Although I must say I did feel a moment or two of euphoria as the live score site I was using showed the score at 2-2 with a minute to go….but on checking the live in running betting with Betfair , it betting showed the score to be incorrect……doh….

Apparently, daddy is refusing to eat ………….this cheered me somewhat……until I heard that they are force feeding him………….Bloody interfering medics……..As I said to my wife….if a man don’t want to eat…don’t force him……

But then I realised , its in their interests to keep the runt alive coz he pays them 600 quid a month for health insurance…..

[Merlin]

THANKS TO TONIGHTS BET – HAVE NOW BROKEN THE 100 POINT BARRIER THIS MONTH :laugh

:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1
:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1
:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1
:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1
:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1:ass1


Stats
.........
September + 110.79 Points
(*28)

August - 9.48 Points
(*24)


:wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle: :wiggle:

[paul183195]

HAVE NOW BROKEN THE 100 POINT BARRIER THIS MONTH
well done merl:clp:clp:clp:clp

[Mavrick]

Nice job Merlin. Not many people pull that off with football bets.

[Merlin]

THERE IS A MAX FOOTY BET TODAY

:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bounceyLEEDS UTD to smash OrientLEEDS UTD to smash OrientLEEDS UTD to smash OrientLEEDS UTD to smash OrientLEEDS UTD to smash OrientLEEDS UTD to smash OrientLEEDS UTD to smash Orient:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey

[Merlin]

Vegy Jones...dont even think about commenting on this blog...dont think about it...is that clear.......

[Win2Win]

Who won? :doh

[Merlin]

LUTON ARE GREAT:ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1
:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1LUTON ARE GREAT

[tophatter]

At least someone loves Luton! :)

[Merlin]

They were a great bet the other night, TH...over evens , too...did you have a go....?

[tophatter]

Yeah I had a bet at even money. We have a good home record still and Northampton have not won away yet so I could not understand why we were even money. We have played 9 league and cup games at home this season and only lost one so home ford aint a problem.

Also always well worth having a bet on spring to score because he is capable of scoring from open play and also for some reason we are getting loads of penalties this season - i think he has six from the spot.

Dont go betting on us to win on Saturday though, away record is lousy and we are yet to get back to back results.

[Merlin]

RUSSIA:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey

[pete50]

Steve Kabba will be leading the line soon to join the other Watford rejects!
Actually quite liked Springy while he was here even though he used to be a sc***** and went back!!

[tophatter]

It had to happen one day I suppose - We have a Watford fan in the house! :)

Steve Kabba is already a luton reject Pete - he was a bench warmer for us many years ago when we had him on loan from Palace.

[mathare]

Kabba is a Grimsby reject too

[pete50]

What a great Saturday tee hee!!!:spinning

[tophatter]

I aint going to get involved in a Watford/Luton thing on here Pete so dont bother. Plenty of other forums for that.

This is Merlins Blog so lets treat it with respect and not start watford/luton banter which only me and you would understand or find any interest in at all.

Hope you understand what im saying. Not having a dig but i know from prevous experience of other fierce football rivalries that posts started to appear all over the forum and it clogs things up.

Merlins blog aint the place to do that. If you want to post in the sports chat section of the forum about Watford that fine. :)

[Merlin]

WHEN THE BOAT COMES IN :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1

THE SLAGS ON THE TYNE ARE ALL MINE - ALL MINE.....:laugh

[Merlin]

:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey:bouncey

auf wiedersehen Spurs...

[scoobydoo]

WHEN THE BOAT COMES IN :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1 :ass1:ass1

THE SLAGS ON THE TYNE ARE ALL MINE - ALL MINE.....:laugh

Did Gazza sing that line Merl? :laugh

[vegyjones]

Just before he gave them all a black eye :D

[Merlin]

Footy betting continues to bring in the dosh.......had one slip-up in about 6 bets....(I think)........long may it continue...

Got to quickly tell you something, and how the ***** has been hitting the fan recently....

Remember I mentioned a few weeks ago (about 6 weeks ago) that I was trying to find a girl who was once held in the arms of the late Princess D?

Remember also that I said that a certain Catholic Priest was being very awkward about it?

BINGO - I helped nail THE MOTHER PLUCKER to the cross...and it aint over with yet....

Very quickly, may expand on it another time....

Padre 24 fingers...was very awkward and evasisve when he dicovered that I was trying to arrange an interview with the girl....insisted not only payment directly in cash but also that only he could ask her the questions.......Generally speaking I sensed that something wasnt right.....the kids around his orphanage had a sort of fear of him.....instead of the usual respect.....(and I know lots of priests and his requests and general demeanor; attitude towards my requests was odd to say the least...

Anyway, I got talking to one of the older boys at the orphanage...and he related to me that the priest touches the younger boys in places where he shouldnt touch them......

I went to the police and told them about my concerns...they investigated....

Meanwhile the DIRTY BARSTEWARD got wind of the investigation and came out and made a statement saying that for the past 3 years he had been blackmailed by a couple who threatened to expose him for sexually abusing a littel boy.........

THE PRIEST HAD PAID THEM 2000 REAIS PER MONTH (about 500 quid)...MAKING IN TOTAL 22 PAYMENTS......they bought a top of the range new car out of it.......

Since then...other kids have come forward(now adults)...saying that he had his finger in more than the pie.......

AND MORE - he was diverting funds from his NGO to pay the blackmailers and to fund some personal accounts of his......

BLESS YOU FATHER , YOU KONT

[Merlin]

PS: Mods and Rockers...:yikes:.:laugh..I have tried not to explicitly swear in the above post.:yikes:...and have disguised some of my feelings|words.... towards the above.... but if you think that it still needs editing - I would rather you delete the post altogether.....as I feel it would take away my strong feelings ...in a way that dilutes my anger, in the way that I want to express it:yikes:....and in that case i would rather see the post binned....