I'm not interested but..............

[sparkyminer]

if any of you want to contact him. Feel free.:)

E-mail recieved today.:-

Dear Friend,

My name is Mr.Kasmir Azrim and I just mananged to arrive in the United
Kingdom a few days ago.I have a business project to propose to
you.Please contact me if interested via my personal and private email:
mr_kasmir_azrim@yahoo.cn

It is in relation to this link:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/08/05/wsadd05.xml&sSheet=/news/2005/08/05/ixnewstop.html

Mr Kasmir Azrim

[MattR]

I read once that the most successful one of these was one which pretended to be a euro lottery (or something along those lines) and that you had won but had to pay a £5 fee. People's greed evidently got the better of them and they felt it was worth the £5 to see. No doubt it was to the senders of the emails! :splapme

[samantha1303]

It's the same as those letters that you get where they ask for a cheque for x amount and they will send you something.
I know a few people who have sent the money, one guy did quite well he got things worth alot more than the cheque, another friend though got a small plastic christmas tree worth a coupe of pounds in June.

[sparkyminer]

You lot really don't deserve me but I'm not bitter. Here's another one for you.:D

In the yuletide season I the lottery co-coordinator is pleased to inform you that you have just won £4,000.000.00 (Four Million Pounds Sterling) in the Christmas lottery first batch draws

For claims you are to contact Mrs. Catherine Nola
Email - nola002@jmail.co.za

[Win2Win]

What's '£', plonker doesn't even know how to use advanced ASCII

[bigcumba]

What's '£', plonker doesn't even know how to use advanced ASCII

is that any relation to Arthur?

[vegyjones]

if any of you want to contact him. Feel free.:)

E-mail recieved today.:-

Old Mahatma Coat is on the case once more :D (Yes, it's a slow day at work!)


Dear Mr Kasmir,

I hope you don't object to me contacting you. I was only yesterday reading my colleagues e-mails whilst he was
away from his desk yesterday and found yours in his in-box.

I forwarded your e-mail to myself and deleted it from his in-box. My colleague and I don't really get on. He is always
making jokes about how he is far better and far more successful at his job than I am. This is my chance t get one over on him.

I must say that I am a bit wary though. This money is Saddam Hussein's money?

What if the United States traced this money to me, I could be locked up in Guantanamo bay,
where US soldiers make you get naked and act out sexual encounters with other prisoners.
Actually, I bet my colleague would enjoy that bit!

Anyway, are you sure that this is safe?

Yours

Mahatma Coat

[bigcumba]

very good Vegy... I'd spell the name Coat as Khoat - wee bit more subtle :)

[vegyjones]

I got this rather exaggerated response


Dear Partner,

I am MR KASMIR AZRIM FROM INDONESIA, I was a close friend to the late Mr. Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti,Saddam Hussein’s { Iraqi ex president } half-brother and former head of the Iraqi Mukhabarat Intelligence Service who was condemned to death on the 5Th November 2006 and executed by hanging on the 15Th January 2007 along side with the former Iraqi president, Saddam Hussein and Mr Awad Hamad al-Bandar al-Sa’dun, former head of the Revolutionary Court in Iraq.
Dear Partner,However, I will like to inform you that we the Asians especially the rich Arabs including our Kings, rulers and other government officials in the Arab nations prefer to keep our huge cash money in our Homes due to the Islamic culture and the business nature in the Asia and Arab world in particular.

Before my friend, late Mr. Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti was arrested in Iraq, he converted all the cash money in his residential and official apartments including various sums of foreign currencies in the hidden residential and official vaults of the late Saddam Hussein, his half brother into USA dollars and kept these funds in my care,which were later and safely deposited with a custodian firm for safe keeping for a limited period of time to avoid any loss or trace of the funds. The funds were packaged in consignment forms and deposited with a custodian firm in my name as the beneficiary of the consignments. the contents of the consignments containing the funds were officially declared as my personal effects and my family valuables therefore the custodian firms that are keeping the consignments do not know that the consignments contain raw USA Dollars but my personal effect and my family valuables.

My friend,late Mr. Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti Planned to use the funds to take care of his family and the family of the late Saddam Hussein. It was also the plan of my friend to use part of the funds to re-establish himself in Iraq crude oil refining and crude oil exportation business after the Iraqi war with the allied forces but unfortunately my friend was executed by hanging on the 15Th January 2007 along side with the former Iraqi president, Saddam Hussein and Mr Awad Hamad al-Bandar al-Sa’dun, former head of the Revolutionary Court in Iraq.

However, I sneaked into Britain a few days ago by the special grace of God Almighty through the help of a Diplomat where i am presently in hiding after being declared wanted by the present Iraqi government on various charges in view of my closeness with my late friend.

Current events in Iraq being shown world wide on CNN and other cable TV stations will give you an idea why I decided to sneak into Britain to save my life and to recover the deposited consignments containing the funds.

The purpose of writing this mail to you is to solicit for your assistance to assist me in receiving the consignments containing the funds from the custodian firm bearing in view of the limited period of time given by the custodian firm for safe keeping of the consignments since my in friend, Mr. Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti and Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi ex president who were the original owners of the consignments containing the funds have been executed by hanging since on the 15Th January 2007.

On my arrival in Britain, I contacted the custodian firm that are keeping the consignments and they gave me a very short time for the collection of the consignments or the consignments will attract 100% extra safe keeping fees.

As soon as you respond to this mail,i shall give you my phone number in Britain, a copy of my passport and the necessary details on how we shall conclude this project within a very short period.

I shall also let you know the total value of the funds contained in the consignments.
Please note that a colossal amount of money is involved in this project and i shall allocate you with 35% of the total funds, if you give me the desired assistance.

PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO KEEP THIS PROJECT CONFIDENTIAL BECAUSE I HAVE CONTACTED YOU BASED ON TRUST AND CONFIDENCE. PLEASE DO NOT EXPOSE ME.

Mr.Kasmir Azrim

[vegyjones]

So I replied thus...


Dear Mr Azrim.

Many thanks for your curteous and very detailed reply to my e-mail. I must say that I do not envy your position Mr Azrim, you seem to have been in a very vulnerable position. However, rest assured that your trust in me has not been misplaced. Indeed many years ago, I killed my young sisters goldfish in bathing accident involving a certain part of my genitaliea, that shall remain confidential, but which she thinks died of old age. To this day, she has no idea of what happened on that fateful day - and who would have known that goldfish can't breathe when encased in a young man's foreskin. However, enough of this - I burden you with this tale only in order to assure you that your confidence is well placed with me.

I understand the urgency that is required from me, particulalrly with you being wanted by the Iraqi government. Obviously, however, you must understand that whilst I am eager to help you complete this deal and so have my reward, I am also of a sceptical nature. Are there any further reassurances that you can provide. Perhaps a picture of yourself with Barzan Ibrahim al-Tikriti or even Saddam Hussein himself. It would so assure me that this matter is althogether safe for me to get involved in.

Please forgive my greed in this matter, but may I also ask if you have a rough estimate of how much money we are talking about. I am very grateful that you would depart with 35% of yoour valuables, but clearly 35% of £2.50 is a great deal less than 35% of £5,000.

I shall also have to ask you to please keep my own personal details confidential Mr Azrim. As you have been in Britain a few days, you may have seen all the furore about certain Child Benefit Disks that have gone missing containing ther data of 25 million people in the UK. I am actually a member of staff at the office responsible for sending out this disk and we are under investigation from Senior Officials about our procedures and methods.

Please do not give out any details against me, I could get in serious troube if I was known to be discussing something of this nature whilst working as a public serveant.

I wish you God Speed Mr Azrim and the best of luck to both of us.

Yours

Mahatma

[Win2Win]

Do you not have a real life outside a computer Mr Vegy? :D

[vegyjones]

Do you not have a real life outside a computer Mr Vegy? :D

Apparently not :D

I wans't expecting a reply after my rediculous accident being mentioned, but alas, I got one.


Dear Partner,
Thank you for your email response.I am happy that you took time out to read this email and understand the contents.One message I still would love to sink in is the fact that you need not at anytime disclose the details of this deal to anyother party.The only people that know of the existence of this money is yourself and myself and the Security Firm where the consignments are at the moment.It is a private financial institution and they do not know the contents of the consignments.I had to give them the feeling that they contained documents and family valuables just for security reasons.
The amount of money in these consignments amounts to approximately $300Million Usd so you can imagine the amount of trust which I am about to repose on you.
I have to stop here now as I will need you to send me a copy of your identification as a scanned email attachment as well as your full names and your contact telephone number before I can give you further details.Should you feel like speaking with me,you can call me on this number:
+44 70319 *****.
As soon as you send me your identification,I will send you mine and then further details.
Mr Kasmir Azrim.

[vegyjones]

I replied thus , with a copy of my passport (sorry, Mr Coat's passport) attached. :D Don't think he'll reply after he views my passport :(


Dear Mr Azrim

Thankyou for your continued reliance on me to take my part in this scheme. I can only reassure you of my ability to keep tis entirely confidential and private.

Indeed, that is the reason that I should not wish to contact you by phone. Unfortunately, due to a recent accident, I have no phone at home. You see my previous telephonical communication device was a portable one and I mistakenly thought that it would be a good idea to talk to a family friend whilst in my bathtub. I did not correctly forsee the possible health and safety issues regarding this and there was ultimately an accident, involving an electro magnetic shock, which has left me incapable by manner of fertility!

Your sympathy I do not aspire to attract. It was a foolish decision on my behalf and I am left with the consequences of my actions.

May I say regarding the figure what a splended amount of money. Although that is only about £150 in Grreat British Sterling leaving me with roughly £50-60 million at the conclusion of our business. I must say that although I have made worse monetary transactions in my life, I was slightly hoping that the fortune of Saddam Husseins family would be rather greater. But tally-ho, I suppose it shall have to do.

I am providing you with a copy of my passport. You must promise that you shall delete this e-mail immediately after viewing. I do not want any traces of my activity in this transaction to be left anywhere. I feel that I am taking somewhat of a risk already and do not wish for my safety to be unnecessarily compromised.

Please note that any similar formes of identification you pass to me will be equally suitably disposed of.

Looking forward to speeding up our business transaction,

Mahatma Coat.

[scaaty]

:laugh Love this thread !

[vegyjones]

Unfortunately, I can't let Mr Azrim know of your appreciation Scaaty!! :D
This is after all, top secret stuff :wink

[scaaty]

This is after all, top secret stuff :wink

What's it worth to keep quiet ?!! :D

[vegyjones]

I think it's perfectly safe to offer you ALL of the money promised to me in this deal :laugh

[bigcumba]

Dear Mr Cumbabig

Thank ou for alerting me to the fact that Mr Mahatama Coat is in fact an agent for MI5. I must admit to being surprised that such a high profile spy as James Bond actually lives in a small house in the East End of London. I suppose that is as good a cover as you could have in this country. Still, your work for me will not go unrewarded. Firstly, once I have dealt with Mr Bond (thank you for supplying me with his address), after that I will try and supply you with 20 virgins as requested. Quite where I am supposed to find 20 Virgins in London is another matter, but I will surely try as hard as I can as I owe you my life for what you have done. I will be in touch in the next few days.

Your humble servant

Mr Kasmir Azrim.


:yikes:

[Win2Win]

Vegy, will you please stop sending my brother-in-law stupid emails? :rolleyes:

[mathare]

You didn't have to use your real passport photo though Vegy, that's going to be a bit of a giveaway :wink

[vegyjones]

Imagine my disappointment upon not hearing from him since my passprt photo was sent.

I have e-mailed thus...


Dear Mr Azrim.

I do hope that nothing untoward has happened to you since your last communication. I fear you may have been captured. I do hope not, for I can't imagie what sort of torture you are having to endure. Strapped to an electric wire fence, having your arms and legs stretched, or havinfg certain areas of your gentalia tickled with one of Ken Dodds Tickling Sticks.

I can't imagine why else you would not have furnished me with your personal details in a likewise manner to which I presented mine.

You gave me the impression that this was urgent business and yet I have not heard from you in 2 days now.

If you are being held in incarceration, I do hope that you will not reveal my identity to tose that keep you held captive. Indded, I am at this time arranging for false documents to be arranged for myself. I have recently had to go to my doctor for a prescription of nerve settling tablets. I no longer feel able to safely wak the streets as Mr Mahatma Coat. I am soon to become Mahatma Scarf.

Please communicate immediately so that I know you are safe and that our business proposal is still ongoing. I have made so many plans for what to do with my £50 million

Yours

[samantha1303]

Vegy are you really sending these emails to someone ?

[Win2Win]

Vegy are you really sending these emails to someone ?

He answers all the spam he gets, hence his large collection of penis enlargers, and buckets of Viagra made of concrete :thumbs

[sparkyminer]

Here's another one for you.:)

Sister Rita Osborne [kevin.collins@adelphia.net]
Dear Beloved,Here writes Madam Rita Osborne wife
of late Sir Williams Osborne,suffering from cancerous
ailment without a child. My late husband deposited the
sum of 10 million derived from his vast estates and
investment in capital market with his bank here in UK.
Recently, my doctor told me that I have limited days
to live due to the cancerous problems I am
suffering from. With this hard reality that
has befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate
this fund to you and want you to help me use this gift
which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep
of widows,orphans, and needy financially.
I have decided to donate this fund to you, I do hope
you would be able to utilize this money for the said
purpose just as Iâm going to instruct herein. I want
you to utilize the funds by creating a charity foundation
called WILLIAM OSBORNE FOUNDATION to assist widows and help
accident victims worldwide. this deposit is known by me, our
family lawyer and now you.Contact our family lawyer Barrister
Timothy Martins (ESQ) Tell him that I have WILLED £10,000,000
to you by quoting my personal reference number
Law/chamber/solicitors/rt/osb/WILL/9834520012 and
I have also notified him that I am WILLING that
amount to you for a specific and good work.Remain blessed.
Your Sister,Madam. Rita Osborne.

[sparkyminer]

And another.:rolleyes:

The Fondation De France(FDF) would like to notify you that you have
been chosen by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of
a cash Grant/Donation for your own personal, educational, and business
development. We are giving out a yearly donation of US$1,350,000.00
each to 100 lucky recipients based on the random selection exercise of
internet websites and millions of supermarket cash invoices worldwide.
CONTACT THE SECRETARY FOR MORE INFORMATIONS ON YOUR CLAIMS.
Please endeavor to quote your Qualification numbers(FDF-444-6647-9163)
in all discussions.
Executive Sec. Mr Paul Blair
Email:fdf_organisation_secre@yahoo.fr
You would be required to send down the following informations
1,NAME
2,COUNTRY
3,ADDRESS,
4,STATE,
5,PHONE NUMBER
6,DATE OF BIRTH
7,AGE AND SEX
8,OCCUPATION
Regards.
Mrs. Christie Cisse

[bigcumba]

1,NAME - Osama Bin Laden
2,COUNTRY - United States
3,ADDRESS, - The Nuclear Bunker, The Whitehouse, Washington DC
4,STATE, - Bloody Freezing (no heating down here!)
5,PHONE NUMBER - no point - can't get a signal
6,DATE OF BIRTH - 6/6/66
7,AGE AND SEX - 41, yes please and with a woman, after 4 years in a cave shoving it up hairy arsed Taliban
8,OCCUPATION - White House Tour Guide